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Nick, a couple of things came up as I listened. The first is that even though there might be tears, a lump in my throat, an aching in my chest, I am still mostly in my head with the “this isn’t fair, he shouldn’t have, they should have, I shouldn’t have to…”
Secondly, and similarly, when I sit, whether it’s on my cushion or under my favourite tree, there is a timer going, either on my phone, or in my head with the reminder that I only have 30 minutes, and I have to “finish this” so I can get back to my desk or whatever. Maybe I am inhibiting the regenerative capacity of all of “good things” I am doing by putting a time limit on them; by not stopping whatever I am doing when the hurt arises and just letting it be there for as long as it needs to be. It’s almost like the storyline keeps me going as long as I keep it going. While that energy might be useful, it might be more useful if I dropped deeper into it.
I don’t know if I am describing it well. It makes more sense in my head than on the screen 🙂 but thank you for the opportunity to reflect on it!
I was so moved the first time I saw this insight. You seemed to be exhausted, and then found the way to explain us how to regenerate and this seemed to give you new energy. It was lovely to hear how we can gain new strength to give it to others for who we care so much, and for those not heard, and with our strength shelter those marginated and under pressure of confusion and ignorance. It felt to me like a renewal of the bodhisattva vow. Pith instructions. Lovely. Thank you so much, Nick
Second, or third or fourth listening and watching. This speaks directly to my heart and to my experience in life as to protect others more vulnerable from injustice and pain inflicted by ignorance, and goes directly to the roots of my own unsustainability as a very young non protected being which brings further unfortune as an adult. So wonderful now late in life to hear and listen to remedy and receive the tools to make my own heart strong and thus protect and help others. Thank you so much for your wonderful teaching, dear Shastri Nick Kranz.
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